One lesson Doan tries to teach his daughters is community involvement
By Diego Flammini
Staff Writer
Farms.com
Farms.com is continuing to connect with farm dads this week in the lead up to Father’s Day on Sunday.
Clair Doan (CD) and his wife, Kathryn, own and operate Doan Family Turkey Farm, a 190-acre turkey and grain operation near Norwich, Ont.
Together, they have four daughters – Carmyn (13), Sophia (11), Charlotte (9) and Adele (5).
“Carmyn is kind, thoughtful and a typical oldest sibling who is great at helping out,” Doan told Farms.com. “She has taken to sports, including skating and baseball and takes after her mother in public speaking and does the morning announcements every day at school.
“Sophia has a quick wit and likes to keep up with her older sister. As a master negotiator, she is great at getting her siblings to see things her way. She is very independent, yet she sometimes seems years older than her age, and is a softy at heart.
“Charlotte exemplifies the strong characteristics of a middle child. She is often seen as quiet and kind, but back to her roots, she has a fire in her belly. She’s creative and constantly designing anything with materials around the house, she loves to build and figure out how things work.
“And Adele is our animal whisperer. She loves everything related to animals and is constantly with our pets or in the barns petting turkeys. She is finishing up kindergarten and definitely has her own sense of style. She gives the best hugs and loves to make sure everyone is happy and getting along.”
Farms.com: Describe where you were when you found out you were going to be a dad for the first time. How did it make you feel?
CD: Kathryn shared the news by way of home pregnancy test in January of 2009. We were both over the moon as we had been married for six years and were absolutely ready. We started officially turkey farming two weeks after our oldest was born, so 2009 was truly an exciting year.
Farms.com: Describe the feeling of holding your newborn for the first time.
CD: For so many aspects of life, up before parenthood, it was shared with others. But for those first few moments, it was just Kathryn, myself, and our new baby girl Carmyn (Donna Catherine), named after her two grandmothers.
The Doan family.
Farms.com: What’s the best part about being a farm dad?
CD: I love that my kids have the freedom of space, fresh air and the opportunity and expectation that being part of the family is also about being part of the farm. The fundamentals of life, where our food comes from and why we need to tend to the environment are so critical, yet I know I take them for granted in our everyday conversations.
Farms.com: What’s the hardest part about fatherhood?
CD: Seeing our kids struggle; be it socially with friends, in sports or in school. We want to make it better, to do the work for them, or to mend the relationships, but it is about reminding myself and encouraging them, that we all not perfect and we learn from our experiences. In a world of social media and screens – it doesn’t make life easier for our kids in many ways.
Farms.com: What’s a misconception people have about fatherhood?
CD: I would like to say that we parent in a similar manner for all four kids, yet they are all so different! I am blessed to coparent with Kathryn – she might answer differently!
Farms.com: What’s your dad’s (or father figure’s) name? What are some special memories you have with him?
CD: My dad’s name is Donald. An early memory dating back over 30 years, was when he took me to Ottawa to the rallies concerning NAFTA. That was an early influence of encouragement of being politically minded and aware of issues and that we all need to speak up and get involved in local organizations.
Another special memory, although as a kid, perhaps not – were Sunday afternoon drives looking at all of the crops and taking in equipment dealerships, scattered across southern Ontario.
Farms.com: What’s one lesson you learned from your dad you try to teach your kids?
CD: To be involved in community. My father was involved for over 15 years in municipal politics and it emphasizes the importance and strength of rural communities, local business, education and having people that all work to build strong communities. I encourage our kids to step up and help out.
My line to my kids, that they hate, is to have helpful hands and listening ears.
Farms.com: How has fatherhood changed you?
CD: Fatherhood has changed my perspective about the ‘why’. I find myself thinking about the future of my kids and their future when making decisions on the farm. It isn’t just Kathryn and I, it is the six of us!
Farms.com: What’s one thing all dads have in common no matter where they are in the world?
CD: One thing in common is that as dad’s – we like to have fun! We like to encourage, to tease, to coach, and to make them laugh. Sometimes the world feels heavy on our shoulders, but the innocence of these kids reminds me that the big problems during our days seem better when we know our kids are at ease and feel safe and secure.
Farms.com: What’s one piece of advice you have for new dads?
CD: I have two pieces of advice. The first is to be present. At bed times, day care pickups, sporting events, school and movie nights. Life is busy and we have lots of excuses, but kids remember.
The second piece of advice is to be conscious because kids are always watching and are innately aware. So be the best person you can be, because I do believe they are so often a product of their environment.
Greg Fentie, another Ontario farm dad and dairy farmer, also participated in the Q&A.
As did Nick Schultz, a dairy and cash crop farmer from Fox Lake, Wis.