The hardest part about fatherhood is finding a balance between family and farm, the dad of five says
By Diego Flammini
Staff Writer
Farms.com
Leading up to Father’s Day this Sunday (don’t forget!), Farms.com connected with multiple farm dads to participate in a Q&A about fatherhood, the best part about being a farm dad and to provide advice for new fathers.
The latest father to take part is Andy Pulk (AP), a cash crop farmer from Strathcona, Minn.
He and his wife, Heidi, have five children – Sarah (14), Madilyn (turning 12 this weekend), Emily (10), and twin boys, John, and Henry, who are both eight.
“Sarah is extremely driven,” Pulk said. “When she gets her mind set on something, nothing stops her.
“Madilyn is the most caring person I’ve ever met in my life and has a natural ability to connect with people. She’s also the most competitive of all the kids.
“Emily, we call her our little engineer. She loves building things and wants to know how equipment works.
“John is your typical farm boy. When he gets off the school bus, he opens the front door just enough to throw his bag inside, and then you don’t see him again for hours. He loves being outside.
“And Henry is very artistic. He gets nervous about doing things but is the most willing to strep outside of his comfort zone to try new things.”
Farms.com: Describe where you were when you found out you were going to be a dad for the first time. How did it make you feel?
AP: We were traveling, and my wife had to make an emergency stop at the side of the road with a bout of morning sickness. I made a comment about her being pregnant, which she denied, but a test later confirmed that.
It was an overwhelming sense of awe. And then shortly after, the nervousness of the unknown sets in.
Farms.com: Describe the feeling of holding your newborn for the first time.
AP: When Sarah came, she was premature. There were some labor issues, and she was born via emergency C-section. When doctors brought her over and let me hold her, the first thing I did was count 10 fingers and 10 toes.
And then I thought how perfect is this little baby that just came out.
The Pulk family.
Farms.com: What’s the best part about being a farm dad?
AP: Being able to have our kids actively involved with us. Whether it’s going for parts and an ice cream cone, or teaching them about soil science, or biology.
And because of the seasonality of our farm, in the winter I’m able to get involved with their activities. Very few jobs allow for that kind of flexibility.
Farms.com: What’s the hardest part about fatherhood?
AP: Finding balance. With five extremely active kids, it’s hard to find the balance between the family and the farm.
The kids are only young once and they don’t stay young forever, so finding that balance of knowing when to shut myself off from the farm to enjoy time with my kids is tough. I’ve seen too many farmers get so driven by the farm they lose sight of the family.
Farms.com: What’s a misconception people have about fatherhood?
AP: Believing there’s a right time to have kids, because there isn’t.
Farms.com: What’s your dad’s (or father figure’s) name? What are some special memories you have with him?
AP: My dad’s name is Peter. He is a non-farmer, so growing up, my favorite memories were camping and motorcycle trips.
As I’ve gotten older and dad is retired, my parents come to visit us on the farm and my dad likes to help out. Having him drive tractor, not because it’s his passion, but because he wants to spend time with me, is very special.
Farms.com: What’s one lesson you learned from your dad you try to teach your kids?
AP: Finishing a project. 90 percent is not complete. My dad taught me that the job wasn’t done until the tools are put away and everything is cleaned up.
Farms.com: How has fatherhood changed you?
AP: It has taught me patience and to pick my battles. Having five kids and different personalities, you can never have too much patience.
Farms.com: What’s one thing all dads have in common no matter where they are in the world?
AP: We get to enjoy God’s greatest gift, and that’s having kids and being able to watch them grow up.
Farms.com: What’s one piece of advice you have for new dads?
AP: Get involved with what your kids like. They’re only young once and every kid deserves to have a father figure that is there for them and shares in their interests.
Farms.com spoke with three other dads leading up to Father’s Day.
Nick Schultz is a dairy and cash crop farmer from Fox Lake, Wis. He and his wife, Jodi, have two sons.
Greg Fentie is a dairy and cash crop producer from near Springfield, Ont. He and his wife Ashley have two sons and a daughter.
And Clair Doan is a turkey and grain farmer from near Norwich, Ont. He and his wife Kathryn have four daughters.
Farms.com would like to wish all farm dads and father figures a Happy Father’s Day!